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geekgasm [Jun. 30th, 2008|09:11 am]
My new computer just arrived.

It's a Tablet PC.

The hope is that this helps me crank out comics faster.

I don't want to be at work! I want to go home and play with my new toy!
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it's ben a long slog [Jun. 8th, 2008|09:41 pm]
But at the end of the day tomorrow, the toughest challenge of my professional career will very likely come to a close, knock wood. This is why I haven't been very posty.
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to aging. [May. 19th, 2008|09:27 pm]
I suspect the people with whom I now live might have drinking problems. Roommate 1, who just turned 34 today and had previously been my bartender in college, had announced that it was his intention to spend his birthday drinking blender drinks in our driveway, beginning as soon as he awoke.

Roommate 2 thought this was a brilliant idea, and took the day off to join him.

The plan was slightly flawed, in that they had nothing to put in the blender other than beer. Blended beer is not so tasty, as it turns out. So they went to the store, bought rum, fruit, and more beer, and carried out the plan beginning at 11.

They just now went to sleep. Several people who came by were sucked into the drunk-hole, and had the good sense to leave hours ago.

By the time the two of them were out, they were barely speaking english, falling over themselves, and had generally had a wonderful time. There was beer-pong. There was Tron, on a big screen. There was wii-bowling. There was singing along, loudly and off-key, to both "Boy Named Sue" and "Fat-Bottomed Girls."

I on the other hand had to go to work today. No real options these days, work is insane for me. I came home to this, and try as I might, there was really no catching up.

Both of them have to work in the morning, and I don't envy them.

On the other hand: perhaps what they have is a drinking solution.
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Wasn't late... [Apr. 20th, 2008|04:37 am]
Wow, been a long time since I did that last.
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For Reference: The Playlist [Apr. 14th, 2008|05:56 am]
Cheesecake and Cocktail XIII, March 22 2008, Baltimore-ish, Maryland.
Thirteen years. Jesus.
One recurring theme here is cover songs, another is superheroes.
Disc 1
1Body SnatcherThe Dynamites
2Own ThingThe Dynamites
3Money (That's What I Want)Jr. Walker & The All Stars
4TroublesAdrian Belew
5Your Little Hoodrat FriendThe Hold Steady
6Build Me Up ButtercupThe Killer Barbies
7Code MonkeyJonathan Coulton
8Awaiting Our ReturnPercy Hill
9\Ascension To VirginityDave Grusin
10Hey Mr BundleFlevans
11Family Rap (ft Chali 2na, Soup, Double K, Wolf, Munyungo Jackson)Breakestra
12Grand PrixGiant Panda
13corvairAvi Bortnick
14MovementLCD Soundsystem
15Desperate GuysThe Faint
16The W.A.N.D.The Flaming Lips
17I Fought The LawThe Clash
18Ya Ya Ya (Looking For My Baby)Detroit Cobras
19Fell In Love With A BoyJoss Stone
20Proud MaryOhio Players
21Run Linda RunDeep Throat: The Album
Disc 2
1Everybody ReadyAction Figure Party
2We've GotBrand New Heavies
3Radio FriendlyAbdominal
4Sophisticated HonkyOrgone
5FrankensteinKarl Denson's Tiny Universe
6Cut The CakeAverage White Band
7Three More DaysRay LaMontagne
8I Got LoadedLos Lobos
9The Devil Never SleepsIron & Wine
10Sticks and Stonesmoe.
11Hot SugarThe Mooney Suzuki
12Viva Las Vegas (Cover Elvis)The Analogs
13Beer For BreakfastThe Replacements
14This YearThe Mountain Goats
15EvilInterpol
16Street Fighting ManLake Trout
17Head Over HeelsTears for Fears
18Don Gon Do ItThe Rapture
19Time To Get AwayLCD Soundsystem
20You Are The Space Invader (Optimo Espacio Remix)Prinzhorn Dance School
Disc 3
1Ramones / SpidermanThe Ramones
2Kick Out The JamsThe Presidents Of The United States Of America
For the GirlThe Fratellis
4The Longest TimeMe First And The Gimme Gimmes
5Red Morning LightKings Of Leon
699 and a HalfDetroit Cobras
7Hot In HerreJenny Owen Youngs
8Baby Got BackRichard Cheese
9Damn It Feel Good To Be A GangsterGeto Boys
10What You Need (ft Lyrics Born)Galactic
11What I GotMichael Franti and Spearhead (ft Gift of Gab)
12Whole Lotta LovingLenny Kravitz With Rebirth Brass Band
13Work It Out (ft Dave Matthews Band)Jurassic 5
14We Can Work It OutStevie Wonder
15Got to Get You into My LifeBeatles
16Get Your Regal OnBlockhead
17Come Closer Beatles vs. Nine Inch Nails
18LevelThe Raconteurs
19Traffic And WeatherFountains Of Wayne
2088 Lines About 44 WomenThe Nails
21March of the SwivelheadsThe Beat
22Golden RoughThe Bamboos
23Johnny Just DropThe Motet
Disc 4
1Main Theme from Superman (edit)John Williams
2Superman LoverJohnny "Guitar" Watson
3Jan JanThe New Mastersounds
4Keep On Churnin'Wynonie Harris
5Salt Peanuts [Instrumental]Royal Crown Revue
6Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)Tex Williams
7Bananas & Blow (Live)Ween
8Rehab (Can't Help Myself)Party Ben
9Feelin' AlrightLulu
10Poison PushyStanton Moore
11Chicago FalconThe Budos Band
12Yell Fire!Michael Franti and Spearhead
13True Skool (ft Roots Manuva)Coldcut
14Side To Side (ft Lateef the TBlackalicious
15Karma PoliceEasy Star All-Stars
16Take Me Home, Country RoadsToots & The Maytals
17Dance Hall DaysWang Chung
18(Manifest)The Weakerthans
19Blue Jeans Pizzamoe.
20Always LoveNada Surf
21Children of DecemberThe Slip
22Dance MusicThe Mountain Goats
Disc 5
1Two Perfectly Ordinary PeopleAdam West, Burt Ward, & Nelso
2batman shortenedskavoovie & the epitones
3Comfortably NumbScissor Sisters
4Feel Good Inc.Cookin' On 3 Burners
5Left Coast BoogalooGreyboy Allstars
6LegsDarondo
7The Bertha Butt BoogieJimmy Castor Bunch
8Bob Your Head (Clean)Ugly Duckling
9Get In The Scene (ft Ohmega Watts)The Bamboos
10Little Walter Rides AgainMedeski Scofield Martin & Wood
11Snatching It BackClarence Carter
12Sesame Street ThemeTokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
13I Got The FeelingJames Brown
14Talkin' Loud and Sayin' NothingLiving Colour
15Stand By MeNOFX
16The Get a WayPretty Girls Make Graves
17Strapped For CashFountains Of Wayne
18A Friend Of Pat RobertsonDada
19see the worldGomez
20hard suneddie vedder
21French Fries With PepperMorphine
22Raise A Glassmoe.
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I love you, Internets [Apr. 9th, 2008|08:38 am]
I saw on the news today that the NY Mets got rickrolled.

And a giant grin has been plastered on my face ever since.

It's a beautiful internet.
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[Food Porn] The Meatening [Mar. 23rd, 2008|10:40 pm]
Dear god.

So..

Much...

Meat...

I cooked all the stuff behind the cut tonight, and ate a very, very large amount, and now I am going to go die. I told you I'd be a better documentarian...

pictures... )
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NOM! NOM! NOM! [Mar. 23rd, 2008|11:27 am]
Barbecue season 2008:

It's on, bitches.

Last night was a 4-lb boneless rib roast. Take a bulb of garlic, and 2 tbsp each of peppercorns and sea salt, throw 'em into a food processor and chop them all up fine until they almost make a paste. Lightly coat the roast with olive oil and then coat it with the garlic mixture. Then, of course, drape it with bacon -- because I've never met a recipe yet that wasn't improved by bacon.

Then drag your grill out in the 3 new inches of snow (march 21st snow. errrrg.) and set it up for indirect grilling. Heat until the internal temperature reaches about 130 degrees. Remove from heat, wait 10 minutes, and slice thinly against the grain. I considered making a horseradish sauce but decided that the roast looked good enough on its own.

The first year was basics to ribs. Second year was ribs to brisket. Third year was brisket to game (and a goddamned leg of lamb!). Who knows what this year will hold? My neighbor, who is well-paid and thrilled about my barbecue habit, is threatening to bring home large hunks of unidentified meat, just to test my skills. Bring it the fuck on.

I neglected to take a photo of last night's feasting, but I'll try to be a better documentarian in the future.
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I love where I work [Mar. 14th, 2008|02:28 pm]
Because how many of you actually got to eat pie at 1:59 this afternoon?
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All I gotta say to you wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin', pussy-eatin' prankstas [Mar. 6th, 2008|08:36 am]
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.
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On Beards [Mar. 3rd, 2008|08:36 am]
"How long did it take you to grow that thing?"

I hear this about twice a week. It's a fairly bright red 8-inch-long goatee, it draws attention. Children have actually been struck dumb upon noticing it, others will say "wow, lookit" or just point and stare. It ensures that I'm remembered, which is both a blessing and a curse. Everyone remembers meeting the guy with the weird beard. The guy with the weird beard remembers meeting almost nobody.

Anyway, my stock answer, since I've been growing it since September 7th, 2001 (when I was laid off -- seemed like a good time to experiment with facial hair), is "about 6 years."

Recently, that was called into question. In 6 years, the beard really ought to be down to my waist, all things being equal. But, it splits, and requires maintenance to keep from looking too ratty. So I get it cut from time to time. It doesn't seem to want to grow much longer than that, and I'm, for the most part, fine with that, although if it got to be another 4 inches or so, braiding it wouldn't look quite so silly.

So my answer has to be, "I've been working on it for six years, but I cut it from time to time," to be honest with my random interrogator. This, however, is about 13 more words than I'd like to spend chatting with a stranger who's come up to me and asked me about my personal grooming habits and makes implications about the levels of testosterone in my veins. Perhaps my answer should just be a nonsequitur like, "satan satan satan!" Generally speaking, I'm a little more polite than that. It leads to fewer beatings. I'll figure something out, I'm sure.

However, I got a new one yesterday, via the myspace. "Are you amish?" this random person who was apparently in my "extended network" (meaning: the entire fucking planet) asked.

Yes. Yes I am. They're doing REMARKABLE things with the compressed-air version of the cathode-ray tube. I've got my brother Zebidiah writing letters by lantern-light and taking the buggy into town to deliver them to someone who posts them on the internet for me.

I feel dirty for doing this, but I also wanted to talk about razors. I'd been using the same Gilette Sensor razor since I started having to shave. I do shave everything except my chin, daily. It'd been getting kind of beat up, so while looking through the circular, I noticed that my grocer had the Gilette Fusion on sale: this is the razor that made the Onion come true. Additionally, when I got to the store, I noticed that the replacement heads for the 5 bladed (SIX if you count the "precision blade" on the back) one were cheaper than the ones for my old two-bladed sensor.

I bought it. They've spent quite literally billions of dollars on razor technology. I got the non-battery-powered version, because I still don't believe a razor needs a vibrator. Well -- at least, not a facial razor.

The fucking thing is amazing. It constantly stays in line with the contours of your face, that little bastard spot on my throat just below the base of my jaw is completely stubble free for the first time in years, and you barely even feel it.

I'd scoffed: billions of dollars for a fucking razor? They certainly spent way too much, but the money was not entirely wasted. They have come out with a quality product.

Fuck me running, I've become a shill.
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Ought to have been a poll... [Feb. 22nd, 2008|11:16 am]
But I'm not special enough to get to create one.

So I ask you all:

Please leave me your favorite cover song, and the artist who sings it, in the comments.

Thanks!
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Oh HELL yes. [Feb. 22nd, 2008|08:51 am]
I've just learned that a bar within reasonable stumbling distance of my house has my favorite beer on tap.

That beer is Magic Hat. I've had several of their products before, but the most widely distributed product is #9.



Tonight, on my way home from work, I will stop at the bookshop on the corner, buy a novel, then go to the bar. If you're interested, the bar is Morgan's on Halsted. I'll be the guy with the long red beard reading a book and drinking a pint with a smile on my face.
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[Survivor]Hey, neat! [Feb. 14th, 2008|08:15 pm]
"Excuse me. I'm about to utter one of the nerdiest sentences I've uttered in a very long time."

"What is it?"

"I just watched a really good episode of Survivor and now I've got to go blog about it."

"I believe you are correct, sir."

SO! Fans? People who do the math? Rock. You've got Mikey B, who does the risk-management that the game is all about. You've got Joel, who knows a guy who's thinking out loud about risk-management is probably dangerous, and that couples should always be broken. And you've got... everyone else. I've really excited to see how this works on their side. They've studied, and the favorites have just played.

"If a man hasna studied, he is a gleepa[??]. Which I have."

All the same, two things stuck out at me.

One: In the early game you vote out weak players regardless of who's being all smart so you don't go to tribal more often than you have to. Prepare for the numbers game from the moment you set foot on the island, you must have more players at the merge so you can Pagong the hell out of the other tribe when the time comes. Mary? Not so weak. Who was weak? Chet. He can barely swim. He did the fucking backstroke back to the beach, which is the slowest stroke you can use. On a game on an island, you'll be swimming a lot.

Two: Joel, who had the plan to vote out Mary and blindside Mikey B, actually cast his vote for Tracey?!?!? WTF, over? Joel is also a repugnant dickhead personally, as far as I can tell, but he seems to be playing a smart game so far. He will lose the social game.

If I had to make a prediction, I would say none of the following will make the win, and it is unlikely that they'll make it to the merge: Joel, Mikey B, Kathy, Chet, and Tracey. Without Mary, that leaves them at Alexis, Eric, Jason, and Natalie. Which among them is smart enough to recognize smart playing, pick it up, and be fucking subtle about it?

As for the favorites, they're being idiots. Which would you rather have, sex, or a million dollars? At least four of the favorites are making the wrong choice. Sigh. They will eat well, and they may do well at challenges on the strength of Ozzy and Yau-Man. But dear lord, do I want to see Parvati go. Sexist alert: if she wouldn't speak, it would be a lot better. Watching her and hearing her sleaze up to James is like nails on a chalkboard.
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[Feb. 14th, 2008|08:34 am]
Dear World:

Kindly allow me to ignore today's significance in the realm of holidays. Let me get through it like any other Thursday with no reminders of anything pink, or heart-shaped. It'd be a great kindness.

I'll keep my fingers crossed, world.

Hopefully,

-Me
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[Politics]The PaulBomb [Feb. 13th, 2008|06:46 am]
thanks entirely to [info]roadriverrail.

Ron Paul wants to define life as starting at conception, build a fence along the US-Mexico border, prevent the Supreme Court from hearing cases on the Establishment Clause or the right to privacy, permitting the return of sodomy laws and the like (a bill which he has repeatedly re-introduced), pull out of the UN, disband NATO, end birthright citizenship, deny federal funding to any organisation which "which presents male or female homosexuality as an acceptable alternative life style or which suggest that it can be an acceptable life style" along with destroying public education and social security,, and abolish the Federal Reserve in order to put America back on the gold standard. He was also the sole vote against divesting US federal government investments in corporations doing business with the genocidal government of the Sudan. Oh, and he believes that the Left is waging a war on religion and Christmas, he's against gay marriage, is against the popular vote, opposes the Civil Rights Act of 1964, wants the estate tax repealed, is STILL making racist remarks, believes that the Panama Canal should be the property of the United States, and believes in New World Order conspiracy theories, not to mention his belief that the International Baccalaureate program is UN mind control..

As for me, I am pleased to see that Obama swept the primaries yesterday.
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Nearly Forgot: politics mark 2 [Feb. 6th, 2008|10:08 am]
While I was voting yesterday I caught a glance at the republican ballot. I had to laugh: Alan Keyes is running for President.

If you're not aware, he's a complete fundie nutjob, and also one of the laughingstocks of Illinois politics, after the worst finish for any candidate for the U.S. Senate election in Illinois in history, getting only 27% of the vote, and losing to Barack Obama's 70% win.

Again: I had to laugh.
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[Politics]Super Tuesday has me frightened. [Feb. 6th, 2008|09:17 am]
I'm not entirely certain I respect McCain anymore, as much as I want to. I respect his experience, certainly. But the following has me nowhere near as pro-McCain as I used to be:

  • His cheerleading visit to Baghdad to show how "safe" it was there, wearing a bulletproof vest and surrounded by almost 100 off-camera American troops.

  • His reversal of his 2003 position (anti-deficit!) against Bushs' tax cuts in 2006 -- and again, in February, voting to continue Bush's dividend and capital gains tax cuts.

  • His cozying up to (the now late-) Jerry Falwell in March after declaring him an "agent of intolerance" in 2000.

  • His changing position on abortion -- initially he was opposed to it except in cases of rape, incest, and where it endangered the life of the mother, then he said if he'd been governor of South Dakota, he would have signed its draconian abortion ban which lacked those exceptions.


Don't get me wrong, I do agree with him on a number of issues, but I think this idea of McCain's integrity is overblown.

I don't think that the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform bill -- an idea way past due, because I really don't think the first amendment means that the rich ought to speak with a louder voice than the poor -- represents hypocrisy in the face of the Keating Five scandal as some have suggested, I think he was put in an uncomfortable situation and wasn't prepared for the fallout from the contributors to his campaign at the time. I think his turnaround from there was genuine: he recognized the problem, having been a victim to it himself, and has since taken steps to correct it.

I just read this, by McCain (from his 2005 Book): "Darwin helped explain nature’s laws. He did not speculate, in his published theories at least, on the origin of life. He did not exclude God, for Whom the immensity of time is but a moment, from our presence. The only undeniable challenge the theory of evolution poses to Christian beliefs is its obvious contradiction of the idea that God created the world as it is in less than a week. But our faith is certainly not so weak that it can be shaken to learn that a biblical metaphor is not literal history. Nature doesn’t threaten our faith. On the contrary, when we contemplate its beauty and mysteries we cannot quiet in our heart an insistent impulse of belief that for all its variations and inevitable change, before its creation, in a time before time, God let it be so, and, thus, its many splendors and purposes abide in His purpose."

Yeah, he's a christian, yeah, he believes in evolution, and yeah, he's got a fucking rational reconciliation of the two, (or at least as rational as you can get, to my way of thinking.)

All in all? Way better than Huckabee. The south, after yesterday, sickens the hell out of me. Carlin said it well when he said, "there's way too much religion floating around down there to be consistent with good mental health." Huckabee is patently unamerican in the truest sense of that word. We were founded as a secular government.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

"It's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

And as for Obama: he's got a lot of people I know fired up. I, for one, hope that's a sign of him being Kennedy-esque rather than McGovern-esque.

There's more coming. If you want to not hear politics from me, let me know. If enough people do it, I'll filter it.
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Jesus. [Jan. 20th, 2008|12:51 pm]
"The line of gray along the horizon is brighter now, and with the coming light I feel a certainty: that there is, despite our wild imaginings, only one life. The ghostly others, no matter how real they seem, no matter how badly we need them, are phantoms. The one life we're left with is sufficient to fill and refill our imperfect hearts with joy, and then to shatter them. And it never, ever lets up.
"Blame love."

-Richard Russo, Bridge of Sighs.
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Politics [Jan. 6th, 2008|08:45 am]
I'd previously written off Huckabee entirely, on the simple issue that if you don't believe in evolution, you're a ignorant throwback to the monkey trial years, and your opinions ought to be simply dismissed.

However, given his showing in Iowa, I thought maybe he's worth another look. And I'm looking right at something called FairTax. No space. Capital-eff-ay-eye-arr-capital-tee-ay-ecks.

Is it just me, or does anyone else immediately distrust words like this? It seems like stupid, blatant, first-year marketing bullshit. FuckYou.

Turns out: yes! What a horrible fucking idea! Replace all income and payroll taxes with a sales tax on everything we buy, goods, services, what have you, of between 20-40%(FairTax says 23%, but it also says that a 23% tax raises a price from $100 to $130)?

Yes, it's a regressive tax (who's paying more in taxes as a percentage of their income: the rich, or the poor?). But FairTax addresses that. They'll say, ooops, the poor people got overtaxed. Here's a check for what people at the poverty line are paying in taxes. Every month.

Which is patently ridiculous. Beyond the amount of beauracracy that would be involved in this, it simply shifts the burden straight onto the backs of the middle class. Again -- if the poor are paying almost nothing in this tax, who pays the most tax as a percentage of their income?

Beyond that: corporations would be free from paying taxes. The idea being that they'd pass those savings on to the consumer in the form of lower prices. Which probably wouldn't be 20-40% less...

This is absurd, and kind of evil. Watch Huckabee. Silly name, evil plot.
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